3/26/10 The Big Finish

It's that time once again: comes now the final installment of the N.J. Bowling Blog for the 2009-10 season. You know, for a one-horse outfit in just its second year of operation — even with all the changing alter egos, soft deadlines, crazy hours, negative income factored in — The Messenger had a right good time bringing you a small slice of the small slice of New Jersey sports known as high school bowling. But there will be plenty of time for reminiscing once we get to the sign-off... first, we have one final matter of business to address.

Once again, thanks to everyone that helped contribute to the site this season. Hopefully, I've listed just about all of such folks along the way, but if you look back and find you were not given due credit, please apply for a profuse apology & a spot on the top of next season's name-drop list at: NorthJerseyBRG@gmail.com. Even in the offseason, the e-mailbox is always open (and, honestly, you may just keep it from being all empty and lonely!)

Ok, time for the final NJBB accolades of the season, which incorporates the solution to TM's Parker Bohn III/Johnny Petraglia dilemma. Last season, wanting to do something original with a little NJBB flair, this site created an all-star team saluting those varsity bowlers who share The Messenger's top 3 defining characteristics: A) left-handedness, B) being from New Jersey and C) a passion for bowling. Originally, it was known as the Parker Bohn III All-Stars, since, well, our PBA pal shares those same traits as well. Of course, this site originally was known at the "North Jersey Bowling Blog," a fact that shed some light on the quandary in question.

Henceforth, the NJBB will continue with the Parker Bohn III All-Stars to acknowledge those from the "North Jersey" area (North Sections 1A and 1B for boys, North section for girls), and we will implement the Johnny Petraglia All-Stars to recognize those from the North 2, Central and South sections... which TM really only gets to see at Carolier Lanes... which is where TM met Johnny Petraglia for the first time, and where they used to hold a tournament named after him... see? It may be insanity at its finest, but it all makes sense somehow. Behold:

*The Second Annual Parker Bohn III All-Stars, presented by the N.J. Bowling Blog*
(Listed alphabetically by school)

BOYS TEAM: Patrick Henry (Bergen Catholic), Vinny Bucceri (Cliffside Park), Ryan Cobb (Don Bosco), Nick Videtti (Don Bosco), Marc Riemann (Dumont), Chris Meyerhoffer (Elmwood Park), Raphael Sanchez (Garfield), Michael Young (Hawthorne), Andrew Wierzbicki (Indian Hills), Jonathan Glattstein (North Bergen), Shane Sassone (Paramus), Neil Sheth (Paramus), Steve Natoli (Paramus Catholic), Matt Vanderhoff (Paramus Catholic), Jason Prezant (Pascack Hills), Jon Frantin (Pascack Valley), Mike Carr (Ramapo), Bryan Boyd (Ramsey), Cody Spector (Sparta), Zach Klarberg (Wayne Hills), Alex Prell (Wood-Ridge), Pat Horan (Wood-Ridge).

GIRLS TEAM: Jill Schumacher (Bayonne), Samantha Griffenkranz (Bergenfield), Yeliz Inalman (Fort Lee), Justine Valdez (Fort Lee), Hanna DiFresco (IHA), Antoinette Cocuzza (Kearny), Mariana Torres (Kearny), Erika Valente (Kearny), Nikki Villani (Lyndhurst), Julie Caballero (Marist), Imani Salaam (Newark Vocational), Samantha Callahan (No. Highlands), Richa Shah (Paramus), Vicky Duran (Passaic), Alexa Flores (Ramsey), Shelby Taylor (Ridgewood), Gwen Widicus (Ridgewood), Laura Uzzell (Science Park), Kelsey Pulzone (Westwood).

And...

*The First Annual Johnny Petraglia All-Stars, presented by the N.J. Bowling Blog*
(Again, alphabetically by school)

BOYS TEAM: Brandon Matunas (Governor Livingston), James Miller (BCIT-Medford), Dalton Jacob (Howell), Lou Clemente (Roselle Catholic), Brandon Burwell (Union), Mike DiLeo (Woodbridge).

GIRLS TEAM: Felicia Markley (Bordentown), Sydney Scelfo (Brick Township), Danielle Larsen (Carteret), Stephanie Golda (Central Reg.), Steph Canulli (Ewing), Arianna Mattera (Howell), Tina Shahinian (Manchester Twp.), Delilah Bethel (Piscataway), Nicole Sussman (Raritan), Ally Zimmitti (South Brunswick).

My sincerest apologies if I have forgotten anyone (I know I saw at least one lefty on the Jackson Memorial boys and the Union City girls teams but didn't get their names) — again, TM would like to be everywhere at once, but he can't be. However, if he did make a glaring omission, and you didn't e-mail him to correct it, no complaints allowed.

******************
NJBB season sign-off:

If The Messenger were to give this section its own subtitle, he would pay tribute to the late, great Charles Schultz and ask, "What Have We Learned, Charlie Brown?" The answer is, what didn't TM learn this season?

He could borrow from the theme to [Scrubs]:

"I can't do this all on my own
No, I know – I'm no Superman"
— Lazlo Bane

He could borrow a line from the wisdom of Homer... Simpson, as spoken in the classic Season 6 episode of The Simpsons, "Lisa's Rival":

"It's OK, Marge; I've learned my lesson. A mountain of sugar is too much for one man. It's clear now why God portions it out in those tiny packets, and why he lives on a plantation in Hawaii."
— Homer Simpson

The point is, TM may have bitten off more than he can chew in striving to cover ALL the high school bowling the entire State of New Jersey for essentially no pay. (He also wishes he could have written that sentence a few months ago... seems so much clearer in print.) So, if the NJBB has not lived up to the readers' expectations in any way, all we can say is, we'll try to do better next time.

Now, as has become his custom, TM's final words will be a tribute to the one site in the blogosphere that serves as his inspiration above all others, ESPN.com's Tuesday Morning Quarterback by the almost-aptly named Gregg Easterbrook. I've been an avid reader for years, and with apologies to TMQ, I must echo his parting words, as no one does it quite like him.

The New Jersey Bowling Blog folds its tent and steals off into the Swamps of Jersey until next December, though it may update occasionally if any of our area bowlers is making headlines on the baseball or softball diamond (if not the lanes). Until then, take the offseason not just to work on your spares, but to get the most out of life beyond the alley... go for a walk, read a book, move more and eat less. Go for a drive, head down the shore, stop and smell whatever flowers DON'T have bees hard at work on them. Finish one assignment or task that you just don't want to do and see how it feels. Spend one day with your family or loved ones, even if you don't want to, and see how they feel. Whatever your faith — follow it. And hey, try rolling at a new house, or with a new ball.

TMQ is more of a bookworm than is TM, but among the volumes that have appeared on an end table near me recently: "If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat" by John Ortberg and "How to Keep Your Volkswagen Alive: A Manual of Step-by-Step Procedures for the Compleat Idiot (19th Ed)" by John Muir. My recommendation is... don't let nearby books just sit on the end table like TM does, pick 'em up and get reading! Also, at Mr. Easterbrook's suggestion of last season, "'Positive Sports Parenting' by Jim Thompson, a book every youth-league and high-school coach and parent should read." (TMQ, 2/10/09)

Live, love, cry, laugh and serve others: Do these things, and you will feel justified in racing back to the rosin bags, the rivalries and the Bowler City chicken fingers when the varsity bowling universe resumes anew next winter.

See you on the other side,
-TM